June 8, 2006

You Can Cut Costs & Still Have a Fabulous Wedding

By SHEILA NORMAN-CULP
Associated Press Writer
If you have a trust fund, read no further. Otherwise, face the facts.
Post-wedding financial hangovers can last longer than the champagne buzz. They can put home-buying plans on hold, strain relations with in-laws and even torpedo new marriages.
“People come to their wedding thinking they have to present their station in life to the world, even if they cannot afford it,” says Lauren Rutten, a wedding photographer in South Orange, N.J. “Big cars, big presents — such extravagance is in our mentality now. That makes it hard to put things into perspective.”
The cost of the average American wedding and honeymoon is now pegged at $23,000 to $26,000, according to various surveys. Even industry experts are saying “Basta!”
“It really is pretty exorbitant when you see how much all the different elements of a wedding can cost,” says Diane Forden, editor in chief of Bridal Guide. “You have to realize less is more. Who needs the limo with the fully stocked bar and the TV?”
Three rules help with the hard work of keeping costs in check: Hold down the size of the wedding. Rein in its extravagance. And rethink traditional expectations.
That could mean excluding some cousins, saying no to the five-course meal and ditching extras such as favors. You might consider marrying on a day other than Saturday, limiting liquor options, and calling upon the skills of friends and relatives.
To start, focus on the biggest bills: the ones for the party.
“Seriously, the cost of the reception site was just overwhelming,” says Megan Fitzpatrick, a 24-year-old bride-to-be from Jersey City, N.J. “I really had no idea.”
Many places she checked had a 100-person minimum to book a Saturday reception. To compensate, she and her fiance kept their bridal party to six people and are having an informal family barbecue for their rehearsal dinner.
“The rehearsal tends to get blown out of proportion and can end up becoming a mini-wedding,” Fitzpatrick says.
Even with all the rented silverware and linen, tent weddings are still usually less expensive than restaurants or banquet halls, especially if you can plunk those poles down in a park, on a beach or on a relative’s well-manicured lawn.
Whether the walls are fabric or sheetrock, you will need to decorate. And many couples end up shocked by their flower bill.
“You don’t need huge, elaborate centerpieces on every table,” says Forden.
She suggests buying local flowers in season, using hand-tied bouquets and substituting candles for some centerpieces. Brides can also reuse church flowers at the reception (but someone has to move them!) or check out fruit and dried flower arrangements.
If your guests are artists or gardeners, put their talents to use. As their gift, they could design decorations, grow flowers for centerpieces, or create banners or invitations. Such personal touches make a wedding unique — and can deepen your friendship in a way that just receiving a toaster can’t.
As for food, look into buffets with servers — they reduce the amount of food wasted. Offer a wide variety of breads and salads.
Or ditch the heavy meal altogether. If hors d’oeuvres reportedly were good enough for Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, they could be good enough for you.
“You can have a wonderful cocktail party, great music and dancing, serve hors d’oeuvres and cake,” says Forden.
Keep the cake to two layers and garnish it with real flowers, she adds. The higher the cake, the more expensive, and elaborate sugar flowers involve a lot of labor.
Eileen Monaghan, vice president of the nearly 4,000-member Association of Bridal Consultants, says liquor bills can run hundreds of dollars past expectations unless couples are careful. Instead of an open bar, she suggests a select menu of wine, beer and one signature drink. Try to avoid those half-opened bottles — you will pay for every one.
Brides agonize over their dresses, but it’s never been easier to save on wedding gowns, thanks to the Internet. That doesn’t mean you have to buy a dress online, even though eBay does have a bridal section. It means brides today can find out more about prices, choices and designers than their mothers ever could.
So read the bridal magazines, check out the Web sites, then go to a store. After you have tried on gowns and settled on a look, you can hunt down and compare discounts from manufacturers, stores and Web sites.
“Bridal gowns don’t have a season and don’t go out of fashion, so they don’t get marked down on a set schedule,” says Samantha Critchell, fashion writer for The Associated Press.
Those who want a high-end dress should seek out designer trunk sales, she says. To find them, contact a designer for a schedule, or call large regional bridal shops.
“We host up to 15 trunk shows a year,” said Jean Rosamilia, manager of Park Ave Bridal in Verona, N.J. “Prices range from $900 to $5,000, and a manufacturer’s discount really helps.”
Retailers like J. Crew and Ann Taylor also have begun offering “summer dresses” in the $300 range that are perfect for less formal weddings.
For elaborate nuptials, many brides hire wedding consultants, but are they worth their 10 percent to 15 percent fee?
“A bride goes to a florist once — a consultant goes to them 10 to 15 times a year. Who is going to get the best price?” asks Monaghan, a consultant for over 25 years. “Our main job is to be rational and stay on budget.”
Brides with less involved weddings could designate a friend instead to be their wedding-day problem solver.
Monaghan’s favorite moneysaving tip: “Get married at offbeat times: Sunday afternoons, Friday nights. ... The Friday after Thanksgiving is a great day, or anytime Christmas week people are usually off.”
When budgeting, don’t overestimate the cash gifts you are likely to receive. Wedding invoices are actual bills that need to be paid, while gifts may or may not arrive. And while you get some consumer protection by using credit cards for specific bills, interest charges for a whole wedding could eat you alive long after the cake is gone.
Finally, ditch the stretch limo. Be a rebel bride: Arrive in a taxi, pull up in a jeep with the top down, pour out of an SUV with all your attendants, create a stir on the subway. Those are memories you won’t forget!
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www.Brides.com
www.Modernbrides.com
www.Bridalguide.com
www.BridalSave.com