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There is one thing, and only one, that I will miss about cold weather — my coat.
About three or four years ago, my daughter decided that her Christmas present to her family members was a nice coat. She bought me a dress overcoat.
That allowed me to use money that I would ordinarily use for such a purchase to go toward an everyday winter coat. I picked up an outdoor-wear parka, lined with R-4,000,000 insulation and enough pockets to carry six days’ provisions.
I dislike cold weather. Always have, always will. I used to have a co-worker who loved winter. He and his wife would revel at the first sight of snow. They’d go cross-country skiing in Michigan. I thought they were nuts.
I love staying warm. Putting on my coat every morning during the winter separates me from the cold. It’s a glorious thing. The hood is nice and comfy, the sleeves fit tightly over my arms.
If Linus of “Peanuts” fame had traded in his blanket for an outdoor coat, he would have worn my coat.
With the advent of warmer weather (finally!), I have put my parka in the closet. It will remain there for six months or so. Right now, I am wearing a windbreaker for trips hither and yon. That windbreaker has two pockets. Two.
The parka has a pocket for my checkbook, another one for a cell phone, and pockets for keys, various receipts, gloves, a light lunch, and a partridge in a pear tree.
I love the car insurance commercial where the clerk is waiting on the couple and she tells the man that their shopping trip will be complete soon, and that he will no longer have to carry his wife’s purse. The wife corrects her: “It’s a European shoulder bag.” The husband rolls his eyes in the direction of his wife: “It’s a gift.”
I don’t want a European shoulder bag, but soon enough, I’ll be bringing out the backpack. I ride my bicycle around town, and I need some way to keep everything with me — now that the parka is hung up in the closet.
I am fond of saying that life is full of mixed blessings. Putting my winter coat in the closet is certainly one of them.
by DAVE SCHULTZ
daves@news-banner.com
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