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Sung to the tune of “When The Saints Go Marching In” ...
“I’ve got a park, that’s better than this,
“I’ve got a park that’s better than this,
“It’s got a swing, a tramp and dog mess,
“I’ve got a park that’s better than this!”
British football fans have a way with attaching new lyrics to old songs, and that little gem was reported on the British Broadcasting Corporation’s “Sporting Quotes of the Week” last week - just a few hours too to late to make my column.
(I didn’t intend writing about British football again this week - especially after the Irish rugby team’s dismal showing in France on Saturday, but with show choir season in full cry, this news item just stuck in my head.)
For the record, the fans responsible for the lyrics above were supporters of the Havant and Waterlooville team that was visiting the stadium of local rivals Eastleigh.
Neither team is from the upper echelons of professional football in England, so a park with a swing, a tramp and a dog mess may indeed be a more accurate reflection of the Havant and Waterlooville home ground than, for example, Lucas Oil Stadium.
And chances are that they will be able to use their new song at the grounds of several of their equally cash-strapped opponents before the end of the season.
British football fans (all forms of football) seem to be unique in their ability to provide musical accompaniment at games.
I’m not talking about one or two individuals bursting into song, or leading chants. I’m talking about thousands of fans, singing at the top of their voices, uncoaxed by cheerleaders.
New Zealand rugby teams playing in Wales would often remark about how easy it was to become “psyched out” by the atmosphere at Cardiff Arms Park when the capacity crowd (I’m talking about tens of thousands of fans here) burst into song at various stages throughout the game.
New Zealand sports fans lack the extroverted nature (and usually the organization) to match the feat. Unless you count the university students at a couple of notable grounds - but that usually came closer to drunken hooliganism than inspirationalism or witty banter.
I don’t know that the United States has anything similar either.
Maybe, that’s just as well. In some parts of this country, I could easily imagine Havant and Waterlooville’s banter being met with return gunfire from disgruntled opposition supporters exercising their second amendment right to bring their automatic machine guns along to the big game.
I can’t really get into the Winter Olympics, even though they are “big news” at the moment.
At this time of year (or any time of year in fact,) the last thing I want to see is more snow and cold weather, even if it is somewhere else on the globe.
I did notice one particular item on CNNMoney.com relating to the event, and the sport of curling in particular.
In a partnership with the U.S. Curling Association, Kodiak Technology Group (a software company, which perhaps is just a little ironic under the circumstances) has debuted the Hurry Hard Condom, named after the common chant “hurry hard!” that curlers yell at teammates to encourage faster ice sweeping.
CNNMoney.com reports that the condom is actually a fundraiser in disguise. Sold on eBay for $4.99 each, the condoms’ proceeds are split between the U.S. Curling Association and Monterey County AIDS Prevention, a California organization that focuses on HIV and AIDS education.
The fundraiser/publicity stunt has already garnered international media attention, and KTC CEO Daniel Field, himself a curling fan, expects many sports fans will buy the condom simply as a collectible or gag gift.
Field told CNNMoney.com that the Hurry Hard condom is not so much about making big bucks, as a way to spread awareness of curling, help a good cause, and get a few clients to “laugh their butts off.”
At five bucks a pop though, I can’t imagine people getting too excited about it! That’s almost the price of a movie after all, and the movie does last longer!
Is it appropriate to suggest that the movies provide “more bang for your buck?”
by FRANK SHANLY
frank@news-banner.com
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