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To mark the end of the first decade of the millennium, the British Broadcasting Corporation posted a “Quotes of the Decade” series featuring some of the memorable pearls of wisdom from some of the leading athletes and other sporting personalities from Great Britain and around the world.
To fit into one column, I’ve tried to reduce their list to a “Top 15” for your reading pleasure. But first, two “Honorable Mentions,” both from BBC commentators:
“1137: 22-2... Ponting masticating maniacally at second slip. He doesn’t chew gum, he teaches it a lesson.’’ —Ben Dirs on BBC live text during the fourth Ashes (cricket) Test between England and Australia in 2009.
and.....
“It must be the first time Ronaldo has been marked by an anagram.” — Clive Tyldsley commentating during Manchester United v Porto (soccer) - as Rolando marked Ronaldo at a corner (again undated.)
Now, on to the main course!
Number 15: “We looked like a woman who’s got a big fur coat on and underneath she’s got no knickers.” —Micky Adams after his Port Vale (soccer) team lost 3-1 to Notts County.
Number 14: “The cars are separated by eight metres, which is the average size of a Formula 1 ego.” —Martin Brundle on the starting grid at the Monaco Grand Prix.
Number 13: “Golf balls don’t know how old you are.” —Former (golf) Open champion Paul Lawrie’s verdict on veteran Tom Watson’s amazing week at Turnberry. (undated)
Number 12: “I haven’t seen a Madrid side this bad since I managed them!” —Commentator (and former manager) John Toshack on the Liverpool-Real Madrid Champions League match. (undated - perhaps I should point out that an English football “manager” is like the “head coach” here in USA.)
Number 11: “I love Blackpool. We’re very similar. We both look better in the dark.” —Blackpool (soccer) manager Ian Holloway. (undated - you may notice that Ian Holloway makes the list a few times, and with different clubs. He has “been around”, you might say!)
Number 10: “The full name of this team is Liga Deportiva Universitaria De Quito - a slap in the face for the man who starts the chant ‘Give me an L’.” — An undated quote attributed to commentator Dave Woods during the (soccer) World Club Cup final.
Number 9: “Who won?” —A confused Lennox Lewis (of England) after being knocked down by Hasim Rahman to lose his heavyweight boxing titles in 2001.
Number 8: “I lost sight of the official ball and stayed on the red one. I went for the red ball instinctively as it was the closest to me and the other went past me.” —A 2009 quote from Liverpool (soccer) goalkeeper Pepe Reina, who caught a big red beach ball thrown onto the pitch by a Liverpool fan and missed the fact that Sunderland, the team he was supposed to be playing against at the time, was scoring a goal. (Liverpool lost the game 1-0.)
Number 7: Gary Lineker: “So Gordon, if you were English, what formation would you play?”
Gordon Strachan: “If I was English I’d top myself!”
—Pundit Gordon Strachan showed just why the BBC hired him to cover “Euro 2004” (for an English audience.)
Number 6: “Every dog has its day - and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark.” —(Soccer) manager Ian Holloway, again, on his side’s promotion-winning victory at Sheffield Wednesday in 2004. I’m not sure which team he was with at this time.
Number 5: Jeff Stelling: “John, I can’t believe there are people leaving the stadium with the game like this...”
John Salako: “The game has finished, Jeff.”
— Banter on Sky’s Soccer Saturday after the MK Dons-Huddersfield game, which Huddersfield won 3-2.
Number 4: “I’ve had a text from granny - she’s going to throw a party for you!” —Prince Harry, grandson of Queen Elizabeth II of England, apparently telling members of the England team that won the Rugby World Cup in 2003 they were about to get an invitation to Buckingham Palace.
Number 3: “It’s hard in that situation to go down to 10 men.” —England women’s (soccer) defender Lindsay Johnson after team mate Casey Stoney was sent off (by the game official following foul play) during their Euro 2009 defeat to Italy.
Number 2: “After having studied the whole unsavory incident on 43 occasions, including slow-motion replays, we have decided against implementing a rule that spectators should remain clothed at all times.” —A 2000 statement from World Indoor Championship (lawn, not 10-pin) Bowls officials after the sport gained its first streaker in the shape of Tracy Sergeant.
Normally, an official media statement like that would be guaranteed the top spot. But, that doesn’t take into account the amazing Ian Holloway (managing Queens Park Rangers in 2003), and the sharing of his thoughts with the viewers at home after his QPR team turned in a lack lustre performance against Chesterfield.
Number 1: “To put it in gentleman’s terms, if you’ve been out for a night and you’re looking for a young lady and you pull one, you’ve done what you set out to do. We didn’t look our best today but we’ve pulled. Some weeks the lady is good looking and some weeks they’re not. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She may not have been the best looking lady we ended up taking home but it was still very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much and let’s have coffee.”
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