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I bumped into Mayor Ted Ellis at Bluffton Elementary School on Thursday.
He was visiting third grade students to talk about local politics.
Great idea! As a result of his visit those kids were practically guaranteed to sleep good that night.
Not that Ellis himself is boring. That was a comment on politics in general.
And this column is definitely not about politics alone. It’s about Ellis and the fact I see him everywhere.
Granted, I spend a good portion of my day at the schools, where Ellis has a captive audience unable to flee his explanations of how the city goes about its daily...
Zzzzzzzzzz.
Sorry. My head hit the keyboard when I passed out from even thinking about it.
But the kids love it! Or so their parents claim.
Anyway, about Ellis and his uncanny ability to be in multiple places at one time:
Once, on my way to collect the police news, I heard an unmistakable voice on the radio. It was the mayor visiting the offices of Indiana Public Radio.
Later that same morning I saw him at City Hall. Then again that evening at a fund raiser.
It occurs to me that perhaps Ellis is paid by the hour, therefore his altruistic motives are reduced to greedy efforts to garner more overtime.
But that seems very unlikely. If politicians were paid hourly Congress would never adjourn. They’d be passing a constant parade of legislation.
Another bonus for Bluffton when it comes to Ellis, unlike other community leaders, he has not hiked the Appalachian Trail.
At least, not that we know of.
I did once see him hiking his way out to the Wells County 4-H Fairgrounds, but since there were no Argentinians in town that day, I was willing to overlook it.
And no late-night boozing or drunken brawls for Ellis — at least not at any of the places I hang out.
No, in all ways Ellis greatly exceeds my expectations of politicians.
Except for one. In one single way Ellis fails as a politician and no manner of reason, no excuse will forgive it.
You see, unlike every other politician I have met, Ellis does not play golf.
Nope. Nada. Never does it. In fact, he’s gone so far as to admit to me, on the record no less, that he is terrible at golf.
A politician that doesn’t play golf? I can only take that to mean Ellis is an alien, sent down to our planet for some unknown reason — perhaps to spread goodwill, perhaps to put pods under our beds and make more aliens.
Whatever his plan I won’t rest until I uncover the meaning of all his good deeds in and around Bluffton.
So let this be a warning to you: I’m on to you Ellis. And I won’t rest until...
Zzzzzzzz.
by JERRY BATTISTE
jerryb@news-banner.com; www.twitter.com/jerrybattiste
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